Jose Humphreys

“Remember always that the nonviolent movement in Birmingham seeks justice and reconciliation-not victory.”

-Martin Luther King, Jr. Why We Can’t Wait

We can live in a Win-Lose kind of society where some settle on top at the expense of others. We see it with everything from unfettered market economies, to the results of a natural disaster in Haiti that devastated a people already in dire need.

Martin Luther King challenged this win-lose view when it came to seeking equality and justice for African-Americans. King knew that the liberation of black people also meant the liberation of those who suppressed human rights. This a totally different way of approaching a struggle. Very Christ like in many ways. In other words the nonviolent approach was a lose-win situation. By the use of restraint. By choosing to sacrifice body and person, the civil rights movement showed the world that it didn’t seek to be triumphalist. That if the movement won, the privileged few would somehow lose. King knew if they attempted to be triumphalist in their approach, they would simply perpetuate the very things carried against them.

The real victory came in justice, which King says is, “love enforced”. Reconciliation was the heart of the matter. Each small gain in human rights was not a victory in the manner we traditionally think about winning. The path to victory was really about paving a way toward a fuller humanity for everyone involved. Liberation for both the oppressor and the oppressed.

In the end, that’s what makes reconciliation more powerful than “victory”. Reconciliation is the work of God. It levels the ground so that people can meet eye to eye. With the hopes that if perhaps one peers long enough the image of the Creator can be seen.

We on this day, get to remember what a life dedicated to the spiritual enterprise of reconciliation and justice looks like, when embodied in the life of a great individual.

Thank you Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Also see: Open Source Preaching Pt. 1

I had a sermon prepared for our church’s weekly gathering at the National Black Theater.  I also had a question prepared at the beginning of this sermon.  In anticipation of preaching about The Lord’s Prayer, “Our Father” in particular, I began the sermon by asking our community, “When we think about the possibility of intimacy with God, what comes to mind?”  This one little  question led to a whole discussion that I could not have predicted.

Why was this beautiful?  Well,  the sermon was preached and the points were covered, without me having to do the actual preaching.   When I think about it, no moving illustration, no movie clip, no clever quip or quote I could’ve presented, would have been an adequate substitute for people’s personal narratives.  This is humbling for a teacher if he thinks his words are too important to give way to the “real time” testimonies of others.  That real time place is where we can locate God’s activity in our lives.

It’s amazing how the sermon was not only preached by the community, but real intimacy came when people were able to self disclose personal struggles with this idea of intimacy with God.  Some people experience God with their hearts, others with their head, others don’t feel, others are skeptics, others perhaps are “prayer warriors”, others are seeking, but in the end all are together.  Present was not a “God’s glory hierarchy”,  consisting of those who experienced God most authentically, or judgment on the ways we all can struggle to connect with the Creator.

Looking at yesterday I ask, “what was the source of all this?”  I wish I could say I was brilliant enough to have planned this. But as my seminary professor once said, “we’re finite beings groping for the infinite God.”  So I can sometimes feel like the kid in the car seat, just going along for the ride.

This idea of open source is a posture. An openness to God’s wisdom working through people.  It allows for God’s Spirit, God’s  possibility to do something new and transformational within the beloved community.

And this is something I want to stay open to.

I love to read a lot. Every now and again there are books that elicit good feelings, can be inspiring, or at best help you see the world differently. So three books that captured me in 2009 were a cool combination of Latino culture, the real deal about “success” in our country, and responding to the tough questions of faith.

1. The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao

I read this book while on vacation and couldn’t put it down. It’s about a ghetto nerd named Oscar Leon, his journey toward wanting to become a published science fiction writer. The author of the book, Junot Diaz, is an amazing writer, using stream of consciousness writing, quirky science fiction, with Washintgon Heights and the Dominican Republic as the back drop for his story.  Junot Diaz’ book won a Pulitzer Prize and he’s a professor at MIT.  Nice to see my man busting moves.

Malcom Gladwell has such a unique perspective about things we see everyday. I loved Outliers because he uses some  research and compelling narrative to talk about how no one who is anyone in our world today (Bill Gates, Microsoft; Bill Joy, Linux), really pulled themselves up by their own bootstraps, but were the beneficiaries of unique circumstances and conditions that helped propel them to the fame and fortune.

Tim Keller’s book “The Reason for God” is a must read. I love the way Keller responds to Richard Dawkins and the New Atheists and their assaults on religious belief.  He does a wonderful job of responding to questions like, “Why would God allow suffering in the world?” and “Has science disproved Christianity?”  This book was definitely a game changer for me.

A typical question for me on most weeks is, “So Jose, how’s the church doing?”

My typical response is usually, “Good, good.  Good things are happening.”  I find it hard to encapsulate what’s really happening, because there are so many dimensions to starting and running churches.  Then there’s the question of how do you measure success?  And those are questions I continue to wrestle and redefine.

After planting and pastoring for a short time though (a double learning curve, oh and don’t forget I’m  a new dad too), I’ve begun to see some trends in the work that I do.

1. Exhaustion

I’ve learned how to work through exhaustion.  It’s become somewhat of a companion for me, like lint and Starbucks.

I’m still recognizing what another pastor once referred to as, “The Gift of Limits”.   I’m glutton for punishment I guess, because I always seem to push the limits on mine.  I’m not this Type A personality. I don’t have boundless energy.  I’m more of a steady, consistent energy type of guy who has to pace.

But a good friend and mentor said, “Jose, you might not be a Type A, but have you heard about the duck analogy?  Like the duck you might seem serene while you tread the water, but there’s a lot of paddling happening beneath the water.”

I guess that’s true, and I’ve never been compared to a duck before.

I do take take a regular Sabbath, so that helps out some as well.

2. Celebration

I’m really blessed with an authentic, celebratory community.  We support each other in just about everything.  From graduations,  concerts, job promotions, people returning back from vacation, you name it.  We celebrate really well and I love that about Metro Hope Church.  I actually love going to church.

3. Spirit Led

I’ve been reminded more and more lately not to treat God’s Spirit as the step-child of the Trinity.  I think we often neglect God’s movement, or limit him to certain experiences that are supposed to occur only in church.  I find God is working in our church in very subtle, transformational ways.  The winds are blowing in directions that are not traditional, and if we don’t look close enough we might just miss it.  To see an increasing amount of diversity in our church (not just the aesthetic type), to see people excited about a gospel movement in Harlem and NYC, and to not know what to expect on any given Sunday, well, that’s organic (or disorganized, joke).  Actually, it’s Spirit led.

When we experience Spirit  at work, it’s certainly a good antidote for exhaustion.

If you notice my side bar has a lengthy blog archive with dates going back to January 2005.  This isn’t really about my longevity in blogging. It simply means I’ve been a sporadic, flakey blogger for a long time now.

I’m at least consistent in my flakiness.

As I was thinking about what makes it hard to blog I thought of 3 things.

Excuse #1: My voice

I find it difficult to blog authentically.  Meaning I feel that my thoughts are very much censored and my voice get’s lost in trying to make myself sound correct, smart or interesting enough.  So most of my writing has been kept to myself lately.

Excuse #2  Having to prioritize

I can multi-task, but it takes me much concentration and effort.  I’m not a natural multi tasker like some folks I know.  I’m more of a trained multi tasker, which means I can do alot of things mediocre.  So in my pursuit to at least do a few things well, certain things by default go into the backburner.

Excuse #3

I suffer from having too many interests in my mind.  I wish I could do a specialized blog, with a theme, but I’d get too bored.  I admire folks who can blog about one thing like food recipes or birdwatching.  Being a monolith has never been my thing.  And I’m done with New Years Resolutions that include blogging more.

What I do find is that whenever I get honest with myself, I feel inspired to write more.  Maybe that’s my first step.  Being more honest.

In a world of Pentium processing and wireless access it’s nice to have “quick and dirty” learning at my finger tips.  I gloss and glean what others have already processed and then try to make it my own.  So every day I reap the benefits of an open source society.

My approach to learning  is recently changing though. Maybe it’s being a little older, hmm, hmm, or just more seasoned.  Or just simply finding out that a big part of the act of learning and growth is about immersion and intent.  Not simply comprehension.

What do I mean by this?

It might sound obvious, but we often don’t respect the learning curve.

Though I’ve read a book or two on specific topics, it doesn’t mean I’ve now mastered it or even remotely incorporated into my beingness.  I read the book on church planting.  And I might unconsciously tell myself, well, now I have a formula.  Read the book on marriage.  Great. So now I possess the makings for marital bliss.

I find that instead of giving the learning a kind of proper “reverence”, I  can come to it with a consumer mindset.  For me learning becomes the Itunes download.  Just select the learning I want and boom it’s now part of my playlist.

Don’t get me wrong, new insights go a long way and can definitely help with immediate things in our lives.  But I’m talking about deep seated, transformational learning in a world of commodified knowledge.   A world where we can live to learn to simply say, “I know that”.  Rather than allowing the learning to actually change us.

Change us in concert with God’s purposes.  Change us for the renewal of the world.

If learning is not simply downloading new information, then what are some things that need to happen in order to respect the learning curve?

How do I learn to become a better father?  How do I truly love people who are different than me?  What does it take for people to truly grow in love for God and others?  My wife Mayra asked, “How does God’s Spirit play in all of this discussion?”

I have more to say but I’m going to leave this hanging for a while and kind of work it out it an another post.

Transitions in life can bring out either the best or worst in us.  In my particular case it can be both at the same time.

As a new pastor here in NYC I’m learning the slow and deliberate way of starting a church in this context. A good friend of mine who happens to be a coach and experienced pastor himself, likened Metro Hope Church’s journey to scaling 3 steep mountains. In other words a church that could be an expression of multi-ethnicity in Harlem, gather around a compelling mission not simply personal style and preferences, and be conversant in word and deed with the surrounding culture, well,  it’s quite the trifecta.

I tend to think in metaphors so I see the present journey as a windy road with some sharp curves. Foot is on the brake gingerly, two hands on the steering wheel, trying to keep my eyes from glazing over during the ride.

Curves as we know call for more concentration and attentiveness. Curves call for ruthless trust because what waits beyond the bend is often unseen. It’s a call to “discernment”, the Christian word for being in tune with God’s program so to speak.

On the church side of things, it might call for less programming. Oh churches are so good at creating programs are we not?   What I see instead is a call for good old fashion practices of prayer, the simplicity of sincere community, and challenging even more people to drop their nets to become a part of something greater than themselves.

Our journey might be up the steep side of the mountain, or the windy road.  Choose your metaphor.  In true literalness I am beginning to witness a kind of heavenly endorsement.  People are latching on to Christ.  Others are being changed.  We have a vision for a transformed community as we pursue partnership in our neighborhood.  Furthermore, I see the we have the raw materials for great things to happen.  So my prayer is that I be able to get out of the way and help facilitate and co-create beauty in community.

Open source is a software phenomenon that allows one developer to allow others to modify/improve upon the original design.  Mozilla Fire Fox is an example of an open source search engine that has gone through many modifications by different developers.

This term has become more widely adopted in theological circles as well, looking at theology as something that is continually informed. I guess in other words, we continually “theologize”.

What if this is concept of open sourcing could further influence the way we approach communication in our church?

One of the biggest stresses I have in sermon prep is to try do too much with one sermon or even one sermon series for that matter. We often want to have the bow neatly tied with a great conclusion, while folks walk away at least remembering 20% of what was said.

A significant part of the DNA of our church has been dialog. As a matter of fact our church began as a series of conversations. Questions like, “What could a church be like in NYC  if it committed itself to being part of the fabric of the life of the city? Or, “What would happen if Christians and non-Christians could inhabit the same space?” Along with other titillating questions, we invited a diverse group of people to inform the discussion, knowing that serious robust conversation about faith, diversity, justice, etc. can be messy and at times leave itself unresolved. It takes a lot of faith to trust in God’s Spirit beyond our overconfidence in what words can do. Trusting that he’s working in people’s hearts. Trusting that our contribution isn’t the only valuable one, but others can inform trajectory and scope.

So what if a preaching could be an ongoing dialog that didn’t lead with propositional statements, but with inquiry?

This is nothing new by the way. It has been happening in some circles for years. I just think not enough credence has been given to allowing the community to add to discussions on Sundays, and continue the thread of dialog not merely with answers but with thoughtful questions too.

I’ve just returned from a two-day retreat at a friend’s home in Middleton, NY. I try to do this at least once a year as a way of recalibrating and recharging. It went well for me. The hospitality was awesome. I feel as if things are more manageable in life now. I had originally gone with the purpose of doing some personal planning around the church. It turns out that I spent most of the time writing and sleeping away ministry
fatigue.  It was truly a retreat experience.

While at the retreat house I ran across this book by Brennan Manning called “Ruthless Trust“.   In it he talks about how a former student of his who had became a monk. This monk had summed up the Christian faith in one word: That word was trust.  I’m not sure if I agree with this totally but there is something compelling about it.  Jesus’ emotional barometer did get elevated when folks demonstrated crazy-against all circumstances faith. Scripture does teach that without faith or trust, it’s impossible to please God.

There were quotes that I recorded that I would like to share:

“Craving Clarity, we attempt to eliminate the risk of trusting God.”

Brennan quoting Mother Theresa: “I have never had clarity; what I always had is trust. So I pray that you will trust God.”

“The faith that animates the Christian Community is less a matter of believing in the existence of God than a practical trust in his loving care under whatever pressure.”

“Trust is that rare and priceless treasure that wins us the affection of our heavenly Father. For him it has both charm and fascination.”

Finally, “The decisive (or what I call the second) conversion from mistrust to trust-a conversion that must be renewed daily-is the moment of sovereign deliverance fromt he warehouse of worry.” (emphasis mine)

This is stuff I will be chewing at the bit for years to come in the midst of my own “second conversion”.

Religions & Ethics News Weekly had an interesting report on Dave Brubeck who is now 88 years old.  He was quoted saying, “When I write a piece, a sacred piece, I’m looking hard and trying to discover what I’m about, and what my parents were about, the world is about.”

Princeton is offering several courses November 2009 on Science & Ministry.

The Psalms are the largest book in the bible including 150 chapters.  That the largest book would be a song book is pretty amazing.  It’s almost like God giving a great stage to poets, song writers and musicians.

One of my favorite Psalms is chapter 8.  David says something about God in particular that really grabs my soul strings.  He says, “When I consider your heavens, the works of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of Him.”

Hubble Image

As an appreciator of the convergence between faith and science this moves me deeply.  The songwriters knowledge of the universe was limited in comparison to our knowledge of the cosmos today. Yet he recognized that the Creator was somehow attentive of him.

Today, scientists believe the universe is 14 billion light years in length.  And I get a headache thinking about this because I really can’t wrap my finite mind around this kind of distance.  Not to mention, the universe is supposedly expanding.

If the universe is this vast, then God has broken through some previous boxes my mind had restricted him to.  If God is the creator of a 14 billion light year universe, then  then I truly echo the bible song writer by asking “What is man that you are mindful of him?”

I can sometimes be addicted to self improvement.

It especially gets magnified during those times when I feel inadequate and I find myself asking “who do I need to become?”or “What do I need to do?”  As a Christian, I can even spiritualize this away saying, “Christians are supposed to be industrious” or “we need to continually work on ourselves.”  True statements of course, but what happens when self improvement becomes such a fixation that we no longer see the God-given person we are?  The God-given person we’re supposed to be?  What happens when we’re chasing some sort of elusive image?

The Sermon on the Mount kind of knocked some sense into me today (The Message Version).  Kind of reminded me that life isn’t always about me.

^1-2 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:

³“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

⁴“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

⁵“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.

⁶“You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.

⁷“You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.

⁸“You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

⁹“You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.

¹⁰“You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.

^11-12“Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

When I see R&B and Pop performers like Ne-Yo, Justin Timberlake and Usher I can’t help but think about MJ.  Observing them there’s no doubt some of his performance DNA flowed out into this next generation’s elite.  In Michael, you see there are players-then there are people who change the game.  MJ was a game changer in every sense of the word.  His music was also a part of the fabric of our lives in one way or another.  Whether we had his collection of greatest hits, sang our favorites tunes at a karaoke place, or just spontaneously hummed along with Michael while he was played at the neigbhorhood Rite Aid, his music was and continues to remain a fixture in our culture.

Of all the sad things I heard about Michael, nothing hurt me more than statements about him having no friends he could trust.  Those he trusted according to some sources took advantage of him in one way or another.  Most of us even know the story of his troubled, overachieving childhood.  That’s the kind of stuff that would drive anyone to isolation.  And it’s that kind of isolation that keeps people out-of-touch with reality. If we think about the Never-Never Land Ranch it was symbolic in many ways of his detachment and social disconnection from the world at large.  His star was that bright.   Meanwhile the stage for Michael, was one of the few portals of affirmation and human connection.  But even the spotlight can objectify people and keep them wondering who there friends really are.

When people are left in a created solitary confinement, it makes them beyond socially awkward.  It wharps their perspective about life and people in general.   You could hear Michael’s awkward comments about friendships with the wrong people in the wrong ways.  It actually made me think about what possible role an authentic community could have served in Michael’s life.  Maybe no one could get close enough.  Maybe the window had closed a long time ago.

It makes me think about my own self created worlds of isolation and how it’s great to have people who can pull me back into community hence reality.  We all need this.  We all long for it.